Polka Dot Banner

I got this idea from a conversation at my support group, Ronna Gage Group on Yahoo. Two of the members were having a conversation on the writing style of a particular author and the question of why should we show instead of tell a story? So I thought I would comment and use this topic as a blog. Thanks Karyn and James for this idea.

When you decide to write your story you sit and invest time, money, and imagination into it. You write about the facts of history for that historical, you suggest a character’s feelings of what they see and hear. As an author you created a good story. Unfortunately, if you don’t spend the time to bring your character’s world into focus for the reader, they will be lost, bored, and eventually stop reading. Your reader wants intrigue, drama, romance, and of course passion. Basically, an escape from their own world and set backs. They want a hero to fall for and a heroine to be like—or the other way around. And when you 'show' actions, emotions, etc. you give the reader a sense of being in that world.

You want your reader to fall in love with your characters; want to live in the world you’ve created, keep telling themselves “Okay, I’ll stop reading after this chapter, Maybe after this one because I have to get cook dinner.” Suddenly, it’s two chapters later and the kids are interrupting the story because they are hungry.

Sound familiar? Sure does to me. Time goes by so fast when I’m reading or creating a good book.

It is the responsibility of the author to give every possible detail of the universe you created to transform them into your book and witness the stories characters traverse the plots to the ending.

So, how can you make this possible you ask? Simple, write in the here and now. Sit down and let your imagination run wild. Focus on the descriptive and the sensory clues to the reader.

Here is an example of descriptive clues from Mystic Journey by Ronna Gage

Drake looked at the building and saw it was dark.
What do you think the reader is asking him or herself? For one, I’m thinking, where is he at right now? What kind of building is he looking at?

In the book it reads like this;

Drake scanned the dark perimeter of the building—no activity. In this light, it was difficult to see it as little more than a rusted out, metal structure. The last evidence of a former sheet metal company—long gone since it moved to a more lucrative spot in the business district.

Even with the usage of ‘was’ in my manuscript, I am able to give the reader clues to the ‘sights’ as viewed by Drake.
Another way this could have been written;

Drake scanned the dark perimeter of the building—no activity. In this light, the building didn’t look more than a rusted out, metal structure. The last evidence of a former sheet metal company—long gone since it moved to a more lucrative spot in the business district.

As you get stronger in your skill, you learn to rephrase and restructure sentences to tantalize the reader and engage them into your characters.

Sensory descriptive example
Zander looked at Angelique. She was beautiful.

Is the reader engaged with Zander and his emotions toward Angelique? I wouldn’t be as a reader. I would wonder what made her look beautiful to him. Now, let’s add the ‘show’ skill.

Excerpt from Blood Bait a work in progress

Zander looked and his breath caught in his throat. Never had he seen a more beautiful baby as his little girl. His eyes scanned her face and took in every detail. Rosy cheeks, Soft tufts of hair curling into a long half roll on top her head, and perfectly rounded lips. She yawned; Zander chuckled at the sweetness in this little babe’s face and almost sobbed with the swelling love growing in his heart.

Have I engaged you, the reader with this paragraph? Are you falling for Zander’s gentleness toward his daughter? Can you almost witness the bond of father and daughter?
Are you misty eyed, breath taken, and wishing for more? I hope you said yes.

Writing in the here and now you show details, not tell the story. This skill is not a difficult task, but it is time consuming, and in my opinion, very critical to your success as a published author. Remember, for every one aspiring author that is successful, ten is rejected for various reasons, but the one most common—poor writing style.

Each paragraph, page, and chapter ask yourself.

What does it look like? This usually describes the setting. What the character sees in the surroundings, the other characters---this is where you can detail your character's looks.

What does it feel like emotionally and physically? Soft touches, stinging slap of her hand...
His heart swelled with love and he almost sobbed.

What does it sound like? Dialog, thunderstorms, birds singing, music in background. etc. All things needed to transform the reader to your 'imagery movie'

What does it taste like? This is great to describe a kiss, oral sex, the distinction between tastes of food. The sour pickle, the sweet watermelon.


I have a few links on my yahoo group for you to view if you are interested. A book I can recommend that I have used is This Year You Write Your Novel by Walter Mosley.

Lots of success, best wishes, and most of all, have fun!
Ronna Gage!

Coffee Times Romance and More

http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/BookReviews/mysticjourney.html




MYSTIC JOURNEY
RONNA GAGE
ISBN# 978-1-60592-060-3
October 26, 2009
Noble Romance
http://www.nobleromance.com
E-Book
$5.99
96 Pages
Paranormal/Time Travel/Historical
Ratings: 4 Cups
Officer Drake Boyd is on an undercover mission that sends him to the hospital. While recovering from a shot in the right leg and head, he finds himself being transported to a different period in time.
Dr. Sabine Williams has a dream she cannot forget. Over the years it has troubled her until Drake lands in the emergency room while she is on duty. Could this possibly be the man to make an input on her life?
Lady Serena Willard is about to be hanged for practicing witchcraft. The thought of dying this way is like a sharp dagger to her heart. Once the deed is over, and her life finished, for some reason she still sees the crowd before her. Drake happens to be her destiny, but he has no idea his part of another life has captured control of his body after his serious injury. While in a coma, he experiences a whole different era where he bears a strong resemblance to Sir Gavin Boydington. It is up to Drake to find a way to bring the two lost souls of Serena and Gavin together. While Sabine desperately tries to restore Drake back to his life again, can Drake find the connection that binds Sabine and Serene together?
Mystic Journey is a hands-on captivating read. I liked the contrast of Drake going into the past and connecting with Gavin. I love how Sabine gives Drake compassionate and loving care during his recovery. Two different times interact to bring together a double world of pleasure and delight to the reader. Outstanding writing, with superb players that are truly unforgettable, Ronna Gage creates a masterpiece. The scenes with the witchcraft almost made me gasp, they were so life-like. This is a story that carries the reader on an incredible adventure.
Cherokee
Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance & More